No Touch Monkey!

The thing I find more interesting than Midwest Earthquakes is the fact that everyone around me wants to talk about it and say what it was like when it hit. By the time the local media got on the air they were flooded with phone calls and emails by people expressing a desire to tell their story.

I don't make it a habit to call the newsroom as soon as something happens, and I wonder about the mindset of the people who do. I think it all falls under the realm of Community. We are species who are bound to each other and we bind through storytelling. How else can you find your place in society without telling your story? I also think it's a way to keep the Boogie Man away. I heard some coworkers talking about it, and the way they were laughing about it made me imagine a pressure release valve blowing off steam.

We tell ourselves into being, don’t we?’ he says. ‘I think that is one of the great reasons for stories. I mean, we are the storytelling animal, there is no other creature on earth that tells itself stories in order to understand who it is. This is what we do, we’ve always done it, whether they are religious stories or personal stories, or tall stories, or lies, or useful stories, we live by telling each other and telling ourselves the stories of ourselves.

, Salman Rushdie

"Which reminds me of something I learned from The Science of Discworld, a discussion of the physics of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld by serious academics. One concept stuck with me: that we are not homo sapiens, but pans narrans, the storytelling ape." (written by Max Dunbar but exactly what I was thinking).

Me, I prefer the Metastory and weird animal behavior. I also noticed that everyone turns to the Meteorologist to ask about earthquake stuff. FYI, Geology is not Meteorology, so why ask him/her. Is it the same reason people think that if you work with Macs that you can trouble shoot a PC?

Labels: meatspace

I have a job audition today. Having passed the interview, but not quite sticking the landing, I am granted one day on the job to see how I work and if I fit. This is a temp->long term->permanent gig if I pass. While I am vehemently opposed to the concept of work, this past month has kind of sucked not bringing in my half of the rent while running up the credit card. Sooooo, cross your flippers.

Labels: meatspace, work

D_ is a kid who attends workshops at the non-profit I had been working for. Aside: we were cleared by the state and resumed classes this week, and while I had quit, I was a guest driver this week.

D_ is a virtual shut in because he lives in a bad neighborhood. He comes home from school and doesn't leave the house until school the next day because his mom keeps him in.

D_ is 12, does not have cable television, nor Internet, but what he does have is A LOT of questions:

Did you hear anything about the MARS company? There are rat poo in M & Ms.

Do you believe in Aliens? What does it mean to get "probed"?

What is politics?

What is the Da Vinci Code? What does the Mona Lisa have to do with it?

Why are there so many different religions?

Does the universe end or keep going?

Where do tornadoes come from?

What's it like to live in the county (as opposed to the city. Which while his street may be "bad" it's only a fraction of some of the other neighborhoods where our kids live).

Anyway, since it was my last trip with him on Thursday, I pulled together a large assortment of awesome books to give him:

The Handy Science Answer Book

The Handy History Answer Book

Encyclopedia of Things That Never Were: Creatures, Places, and People (my own treasured copy)

Universe (5.99 paperback filled with beautiful images)

and The Big Book of Urban Legends (The Big book Series)

10th Anniversary Calvin and Hobbes

A pop up book of Leonardo Da Vinci

And some cool book by Wired about future technology.

All of these books are designed to be flipped through and perused at random, perfect for a kid with lots of questions who doesn't really like reading.

I really hope he enjoys these half as much as I enjoyed giving them to him.

Labels: meatspace, Media

After the event.

Today is Wed. I've been officially unemployed for 3 days. I'm networking, making calls, sending out resumes and going on interviews. It's very difficult for me to ask people for things (like a job0 and it's a slow process, so any job related thing I can do in a day I consider a victory.

I got out of the non-profit just in time. Our population is one of "troubled youth", "youth at risk", etc. So when a kid gets in trouble at his facility and starts throwing stories, someone (State, County, Courts) is going to shut you down while they investigate. It's been two weeks without programming, and while it looks like we (I still consider myself a part of it) will be exonerated because we have the paperwork our paper work in order, it's still a hairy time there.

Other stuff is going on, but I'm thrilled beyond words Daylight Savings Time is here, and today was gorgeous and smelled Springy.

Labels: meatspace, work

I'm watching my boss try to burn a data DVD on his new laptop. I can't believe how difficult Microsoft has made a simple process. It been over 20 minutes and Microsoft Media Center simply will not let him do it. It will only let him burn music, movies or photos. No data files. What a joke.

Not to totally be snobby, but on my Mac, all I do is insert a blank disc, drag the info into the icon and hit eject which burns it for me.

I can't think of a company that is more unfriendly to the end user than MS. It's openly hostile.

Anyway. I've given my notice here because the new driver is starting tonight (but I'm still driving a different gig, and I won't be home until 10:30), and my company is in the process of looking for a new Administrative Assistant. Larry is going to keep me here for the next 3 weeks to look for a job and generally hang out. He's also going to spring for some career counseling. It was such a nice gesture that when it was offered my heart exploded, but out of habit I stuffed it closed. I'm used to doing the nice thing for people, it comes as a surprise when people turn and do nice things for me (other than wife and family), I almost don't know how to accept it.

Anyway, the ole pavement pounding has started, phone calls are being made, interviews are being arranged and so on. I hope I can find something soon, because the only think I hate more than work, is looking for work itself.

(40 minutes in Larry has still not burned the DVD. He's not dumb, its just that Windows is evil)

Labels: meatspace, work

Just some thoughts and words about the last few days.

If St. Louis hosts "The Second Largest Mardi Gras in the US after NO" then why is it take place only on Saturday and leave the neighborhood looking like shit?

Nothing says classy like dry Red Beans and Rice vomit on your office entrance stairs.

Even though it is sunny and warm, the colors are still flat and washed out like an old photo.

On the grass by the side of the highway I see a hawk hopping along with a mouse in it's beak as I zoom by.

My guitar is floundering, I am going to relearn nearly from the beginning.

Listening to NPR yesterday in a very brief time I heard the author of Alone Together: How Marriage in America Is Changing talking and I realized what my daily married relationship was becomming. All I did was mention the name to Alessandra and she knew exactly what I was talking about. We resolved to spend more time "together together" but not last night because she had to knit a hat.

I was supposed to have President's Day off, but the office computer broke and it fell to me to fix it. What should have taken an hour tops took all day because the guy who set up the computer never gave us the XP install disc, and he died couple of months ago. In metaphor. It was a screwdriver job and all I had in my tool box was an assortment of hammers. After banging away at it all day and into the early evening I gave up and took it to a professional. He had the correct tools. It is now fixed. Yay.

So I got to take today off. And practice guitar.

I called my health insurance company today to ask them a question. Somehow it came up in the conversation that she doesn't have health insurance. She's a 3rd party phone girl, but that just seems wrong.

I heard a song on the radio that reminded me. Once I met a guy who was a nurse. I don't recall how I met him, or his name, or what he looked like. But I do remember he was a total wet blanket to be around, and had no social skills, yet he continued to call me and want to go out and do stuff. I couldn't get rid of him until one day he somehow got the hint.

At another point in time, around then, I fell in with a couple of lawyers (I was a pizza guy), and I was smitten by the female of the two. It turned out that I was the loser friend. I don't remember their names either.

I'm driving down the same stretch of highway where I saw the hawk, thinking about this babble post. I'm headed the other way though. I am listening to the driving rhythm of Tom Petty's Running Down a Dream...crawling in traffic.

Labels: meatspace, Stuff

I find my parking place in the stripmall near the house where I grew up. It's dark and snowing. I just drove in 20 miles from the city to get here before closing. I walk into the storefront, the first part of the place is lit with standard fluorescent lighting, the rest of the store behind the chinese partitions is black, but I can see the two rows of patrons lying in their bed in states of bliss.

What is this, some sort of Opium Den?

Pretty much. It's a MIGUN store. Or as I like to call it, "Magic Expensive Massage Table/Bed Store".

Once you get past the bullshit pseudoscience sales pitch, you realize it's an awsome device. You lie on the bed and the bed massages the shit out of your back with hot rocks. My Mom told Alessandra about this place, who in turn told me. When we went on Sunday, the only patrons in the store were Me, Alessandra, Mom and Alan and Alan's daughter Gale. I've been 4 times this week already, and it looks like I can get 5 days in next week.

Their sales technique is extremely soft touch. You can come in for 30 days and try it for free. Every day. 30 days of warm tactobliss. At that point, I think you are supposed to beg to own one...it costs $3,600 bucks.

The funny part is the claims they give it: that you lose weight just laying on it, that 1/2 hour is equivalent to 1hr of running and that it's been approved by the FDA as a Class II device, just like an MRI

I decided to look that last one up, and sure enough, it has been approved by the FDA. The classification though is really just hoop jumping. The FDA says essentially: We've looked at it, it does what they say it does and gives you a warm, vibrating massage." You know what else is Class II? Heating pads and hand vibrators.

Anyway, the story seemed much funnier in my head when I thought about it, but it's a great device and feels gooooooood.

Ah! That's what it was...Here I am laying on this decadent device knowing full well that there are probably billions of people out there living in total poverty. That's not so funny, but it would be nice to dream of a day when everyone is adequately clothed, fed, watered and getting the kinks worked out of their backs by the Magic Expensive Massage Table/Bed.

Labels: Fun Stuff, meatspace

It's the end of my long ass work week of driving, driving, driving kids around for the non-profit arts program I work for and I'm pooped. I've been keeping a list of positive things that happen daily since December to keep from sinking into a huge funk. Many days my list looks like this:

Good Coffee

Didn't die.

Exercised

Practiced Guitar

Shaved.

Somebody said it was the little things in life. that someone needs to be smacked.

Anyway...I think it may have been Monday or Tuesday when I thought, "Man, my positive for today is that I am not these kids, nor their families."

My apprentice in the program, was released from his juvenile detention facility, and that's pretty much going to be that. I'm never going to see him again because now he doesn't want to get together. Most of us mentors are used as a form of entertainment while they are in "kiddie jail", and once they're out, they don't want to come back...which is sad because A) While we are partnered with the county, we are not offically the County. We just come in and do our thing for them, and we are perfectly happy meeting with the kids on the outside, but we are tainted by association. B) These kids get dumped back into the same environment that caused them to act out and end up back in the juvenile court system.

So as I drive around and I see the places the kids come from, and how they act around each other, for just one day I'm glad I'm not them.

Then again, I came from middle class, acted out, recklessly fired guns in Suburbia, drove drunk and comitted a couple minor acts of petty vandalism...I just never got caught. Imagine the dynamics of delinquent kids at a facility/school with other delinquent kids. The staff there is extrememly jaded.

Driving on Wed I had to pull over and talk to some kids who were arguing. I split them up and shut them up with the Cold Voice of Authority, and on later reflection decided to write up an incident report. See, they were threatening to shoot each other even though they were living in separate facilities. Less than 3 minutes of my time from hearing "Hollow Point" to ""I will NOT put up with this, this progam will NOT put up with this...you don't have to apologize but you WILL be Nice, and you will be Good or there will be Problems." and my Program Director has to go and meet with each boy and their staff. We have to take all threats of violence seriously. So that will be worked out soon. On the plus side, for the safety of everyone on the van, I have to be able to hear what they are saying to each other, so that means a greatly reduced radio volume, AND next week we are going to have ride along van mentors from the St. Louis Shakespeare Company to engage the kids in theater. They have experience with our population, so I hope this goes well.

Meh...I lost steam here. Between the end of the paragraph and here I brushed my teeth, and got ready for bed. Tomorrow is a big day. Alessandra has cleaned all the sofa cushion covers with treatments from Planet Urine, our new cushions have arrived, and the rest has been steam cleaned, so its only a matter of time before the Vortex once again grabs our asses.

Labels: meatspace, work

On Tuesdays I don't have to go to work until noon because I work until 8-8:30.

Have you ever stepped up to do somthing nice for someone without any hesitation, help lift their burden for a few minutes, felt good about it, then only later said, "I fucking agreed to do what?" That's how I ended up driving an additional 5.5 hours last night putting in the first of 3 12 hour days this week. The only part that made is bearable is that I didn't have to listen to too much Hip Hop and reserved the right to change the station when there was an annoying song.

I'm increasingly coming to believe that I don't belong where I am currently working. There are 4 of us in an office and I let myself believe that I would be given near equal partnership and a voice in the organization, but the reality is I am an Administrative Assistant with 3 bosses who give contradictory instructions, will not let me incorporate my ideas into the program (money making coffee table book / t-shirts), I'm not allowed to interact with the kids during the workshops, I don't get to talk to the artists. It's just not the environment I hoped it would be.

Since I don't like driving my extra income is being lost so...I need to rethink my options in order to keep up my end of the bills here.

More as it develops.

Labels: meatspace, personal, work