Monday, January 08, 2007
The Soft Touch
Man I am a sucker for the soft touch. Pan handlers are always hitting up. Or at least it seems so, I'm sure everyone gets whacked all the time, but still...
Tonight at SAMS I got the most subtle of handlings. A woman with a child magically appeared right next to me while I was getting my wallet, and this is pretty much verbatim without stopping.
Excuse me sir. I don't want to alarm you. I wont hurt you. My name is XXX, I'm not from around here, I just got out of the hospital (she flashes a hospital ID). I'll get down on my knees right now here in this parking lot. You're the 13th person I've asked tonight, I need your help. And I'm here with my little girl, today is her birthday (then she starts crying, leaky eyes and flat out sobbing) and we went to go see her father and he beat the crap out of me which is why I went to the hospital, and please sir, I swear, I'll get down on my knees, that lady over there gave me 10 dollars and I've never done this before, I swear, we need bus tickets back to Springfield, Illinois and we haven't had anything to eat and I swear I need some money. Boo Hoo Hoo!"
I'm looking at the little girl durning this speach, and she's looking back, not saying anything, and mom's crying, tears pouring down her cheeks, and I'm thinking to myself, "Goddamn it! What the fuck are you doing to this poor child. I work for a program that deals with the kids you fuck up with you're bullshit behavior. You fucking shouldn't have ever had kids. It's like a country record, just pile up all the sorrows and it just so happens to be the kid's birthday today. Imagine that. I am so glad I don't have any cash on me today." And I tell her that I don't carry cash anymore, and I'm sorry and I go into the store.
And that's really the sad part. She could be the real thing, but I doubt it. Ever since the beggars switched over to using kids to tug at the heart strings (in my world they haven't been doing it forever) towing them around asking for gas money, some people really have to ramp up their act. In order to "Keep up with the Joneses." you have to one up them. Next thing you know a fucking meteorite has smashed their house or it burned down etc. I mean, what kind of world do we live in where people feel they have to do this? And as sad as it makes me, it pisses me off too. I'm not against helping people out, but not by forking over cash.
I felt like a dick not giving them any money, but in that end, that pales to how chumpish I'd have felt if I actually rewarded their behavior and taught the kid the lesson, If you cry, bleed em dry."
Tonight at SAMS I got the most subtle of handlings. A woman with a child magically appeared right next to me while I was getting my wallet, and this is pretty much verbatim without stopping.
Excuse me sir. I don't want to alarm you. I wont hurt you. My name is XXX, I'm not from around here, I just got out of the hospital (she flashes a hospital ID). I'll get down on my knees right now here in this parking lot. You're the 13th person I've asked tonight, I need your help. And I'm here with my little girl, today is her birthday (then she starts crying, leaky eyes and flat out sobbing) and we went to go see her father and he beat the crap out of me which is why I went to the hospital, and please sir, I swear, I'll get down on my knees, that lady over there gave me 10 dollars and I've never done this before, I swear, we need bus tickets back to Springfield, Illinois and we haven't had anything to eat and I swear I need some money. Boo Hoo Hoo!"
I'm looking at the little girl durning this speach, and she's looking back, not saying anything, and mom's crying, tears pouring down her cheeks, and I'm thinking to myself, "Goddamn it! What the fuck are you doing to this poor child. I work for a program that deals with the kids you fuck up with you're bullshit behavior. You fucking shouldn't have ever had kids. It's like a country record, just pile up all the sorrows and it just so happens to be the kid's birthday today. Imagine that. I am so glad I don't have any cash on me today." And I tell her that I don't carry cash anymore, and I'm sorry and I go into the store.
And that's really the sad part. She could be the real thing, but I doubt it. Ever since the beggars switched over to using kids to tug at the heart strings (in my world they haven't been doing it forever) towing them around asking for gas money, some people really have to ramp up their act. In order to "Keep up with the Joneses." you have to one up them. Next thing you know a fucking meteorite has smashed their house or it burned down etc. I mean, what kind of world do we live in where people feel they have to do this? And as sad as it makes me, it pisses me off too. I'm not against helping people out, but not by forking over cash.
I felt like a dick not giving them any money, but in that end, that pales to how chumpish I'd have felt if I actually rewarded their behavior and taught the kid the lesson, If you cry, bleed em dry."
