A Modern Rite of Passage
The late 20th century saw a great deal of handwringing about rites of passage, or the lack of them, in these modern times. In the US, Robert Bly's Iron John spawned a whole slug of hilarious and misguided attempts at reintroducing them through various means.
I maintain that rites of passage have not gone away at all. They are as important as ever, however the nature of them has changed -- as it must -- to accomodate modern society.
What got me thinking about this was a fond remembrance from my youth that I was indulging in the other day: I was walking around downtown with my girlfriend. She was hot. I mean scorching, supermodel, even-the-women-check-her-out hot. The rumor that extremely attractive women have problems getting dates is true, you see. If you have balls enough to ask her out with confidence, and restraint enough to treat her with respect, then your chances aren't as bad as you think.
As we were walking down the street, a man approached her and said "Hey baby, why don't you ditch this loser and spend some time with a real man?" Not missing a beat, she put an arm around me and replied "Honey, this guy is twice the man you could ever hope to be." From watching his face, you'd think she just kicked the guy in the crotch.
You can see why it's a fond memory. Two pleasures in one! Not just ego gratification, but also the joy of watching a powerful woman debilitate an asshole with a well-delivered string of phonemes. But I now realize that it was also something more. It was the first time that I felt like a man, and knew that I had shed the shell of The Boy.
Not traditional, perhaps, but a legitimate rite of passage in my view. I was wondering if perhaps this is a glimpse of the rituals of today: personalized, natural, and private. Do you have a well-defined moment when you became A Man?
I maintain that rites of passage have not gone away at all. They are as important as ever, however the nature of them has changed -- as it must -- to accomodate modern society.
What got me thinking about this was a fond remembrance from my youth that I was indulging in the other day: I was walking around downtown with my girlfriend. She was hot. I mean scorching, supermodel, even-the-women-check-her-out hot. The rumor that extremely attractive women have problems getting dates is true, you see. If you have balls enough to ask her out with confidence, and restraint enough to treat her with respect, then your chances aren't as bad as you think.
As we were walking down the street, a man approached her and said "Hey baby, why don't you ditch this loser and spend some time with a real man?" Not missing a beat, she put an arm around me and replied "Honey, this guy is twice the man you could ever hope to be." From watching his face, you'd think she just kicked the guy in the crotch.
You can see why it's a fond memory. Two pleasures in one! Not just ego gratification, but also the joy of watching a powerful woman debilitate an asshole with a well-delivered string of phonemes. But I now realize that it was also something more. It was the first time that I felt like a man, and knew that I had shed the shell of The Boy.
Not traditional, perhaps, but a legitimate rite of passage in my view. I was wondering if perhaps this is a glimpse of the rituals of today: personalized, natural, and private. Do you have a well-defined moment when you became A Man?
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