Healing or Chaos?
There's a guy I know who is gay but is closeted from all his straight friends. He has a completely different set of gay friends and lives a gay double life...poorly I might add.
I've seen him on dates, I've seen his gay profile on-line, I've seen him walk past his straight friends to hang out with his shadowy gay friends in the back of clubs, and I've heard he's been spotted in gay bars then ran.
All his straight friends know, but no one says anything. Until last night.
This guy, Mr. X, is a singer in a band, and he is losing his voice. Based on stories I've heard, I thought it was just his singing voice, but when I spoke to him the other day on the phone, I learned that he's also losing his speaking voice, and has been for a year.
Doctors are stumped and Mr. X will eventually have Botox injected into his vocal cords to see if that will do the trick.
Do you see the connection?
I came close to telling Mr. X on the phone, but decided to respect his privacy, then rethought it and sent it out as a gentle email.
"I'm concerned about you as a friend," I said. "There is a connection between mind and body. I know about your secret double life, and I think your lack of exposure is what is causing you to lose your voice. I know you come from a very, very religious family and are pulled by very powerful forces, but by not being true to yourself, you are losing the ability to talk. Of course I'm not a doctor, but that's what I think. I'm willing to take the risk that you won't wish to communicate with me again, but then again, if I don't speak it, you may not be doing too much talking in the future anyway. It's 2005 and time to come out."
Being a man is a biological thing. It means having a penis. But being a Man is something different. Which is what I'm trying to explore here. It is a spectrum of actions and behaviors. I think being a Man is similar to an election shell. We know there is one somewhere around the nucleus, but aren't quite sure where. There is no prescribe location of manhood within that spectrum, all that's required is penis. Who plays with it is up to you.
Gender roles are very confusing to me. Since hunting and gathering for the tribe or the spouse has been displaced by market economy, what is my role in society? I don't fucking know, but what I do know for a fact is that in my opinion you can still be a Man, even if you are a homosexual.
As an Agent of Healing I hope I threw a spanner in Mr. X's workâenough to produce a cognative dissonance and shock him into action, but not produce a total meltdown.
I've seen him on dates, I've seen his gay profile on-line, I've seen him walk past his straight friends to hang out with his shadowy gay friends in the back of clubs, and I've heard he's been spotted in gay bars then ran.
All his straight friends know, but no one says anything. Until last night.
This guy, Mr. X, is a singer in a band, and he is losing his voice. Based on stories I've heard, I thought it was just his singing voice, but when I spoke to him the other day on the phone, I learned that he's also losing his speaking voice, and has been for a year.
Doctors are stumped and Mr. X will eventually have Botox injected into his vocal cords to see if that will do the trick.
Do you see the connection?
I came close to telling Mr. X on the phone, but decided to respect his privacy, then rethought it and sent it out as a gentle email.
"I'm concerned about you as a friend," I said. "There is a connection between mind and body. I know about your secret double life, and I think your lack of exposure is what is causing you to lose your voice. I know you come from a very, very religious family and are pulled by very powerful forces, but by not being true to yourself, you are losing the ability to talk. Of course I'm not a doctor, but that's what I think. I'm willing to take the risk that you won't wish to communicate with me again, but then again, if I don't speak it, you may not be doing too much talking in the future anyway. It's 2005 and time to come out."
Being a man is a biological thing. It means having a penis. But being a Man is something different. Which is what I'm trying to explore here. It is a spectrum of actions and behaviors. I think being a Man is similar to an election shell. We know there is one somewhere around the nucleus, but aren't quite sure where. There is no prescribe location of manhood within that spectrum, all that's required is penis. Who plays with it is up to you.
Gender roles are very confusing to me. Since hunting and gathering for the tribe or the spouse has been displaced by market economy, what is my role in society? I don't fucking know, but what I do know for a fact is that in my opinion you can still be a Man, even if you are a homosexual.
As an Agent of Healing I hope I threw a spanner in Mr. X's workâenough to produce a cognative dissonance and shock him into action, but not produce a total meltdown.
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