Temporary Setback

Fear runs amok in my life. Most of it had been in the form of freefloating anxiety, apparently for a long time. I was a rotten doper. I'd get high enjoy it for a half hour or so then freak out.

Now it's mostly episodic, and it comes and goes. Unfortunatley after only a few weeks being gone...it's back.

EA here is about the victories and the daily failures of what happens when we try to invoke a god(dess) avatar. (I know the ladies swing by occasionally ;). ). Right now it seems that I am too grounded in the material to touch the divine within me.

I have occupational issues, and I wonder if I'm suited for my occupation. Worse, I fear that my employers question my occupational suitablity. I also question my own diminishing attention span and increasing forgetfulness, and Fear it's some sort of Alzheimer's precursor.

Perhaps I'm going through a midlife crisis. I don't much know. I don't have anything to compare it to.

So, I've been saying my Affirmation daily, but the ability to channel any sort of spiritual energy seems to be choked by the daily dose of fear I am currently experiencing. Of course this is not an Internet call for help. I have a shrink I can see about such things. I'm just keeping you all abreast of my daily excursions into and out of Everyday Avatar.