3.19.2005

To Play Hide-and-Seek With the Stars

I need to keep reminding myself of our nature as stars, quantum gods and goddesses incarnated only in flesh-swaddled genetically-programmed nervous systems.

This programming does not seem bound to bio-survival alone. Do we have the honesty, the courage and the love to take a place alongside our companion celestial bodies?

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synthesis 1 by crist-blasts-0ff


I have worn the mask of No Face, a non-avatar that thrives by consuming and nullifying the identities of others. Every other avatar becomes stuffed into a black-hole of memory, twisted to illogical extremes and regurgitated like a broken-mirrored zombie caricature. A hungry ghost aping the normal mimicry of domesticated primates. Hayao Miyazaki depicted this shade wonderfully in Spirited Away:

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What remains when I remove this mask? A non-existent core, a dark vacuum, no Self, fear and looming destruction? Or do I then have the freedom to try on any avatar at will, to shift between existing forms in a holographic harlequin mash-up of archetypal realities?

This mean letting go of everything, especially the illusion of control over my self and the rest of Universe. It means losing myself in the ocean of human existence, a star at the bottom of a 238 thousand mile gravity well looking up with not just a bit of trepidation. It means falling in love with everything and everyone again each moment.