I am a Lesbian
True story:
I was sitting at the stage in a strip club happily having my money expertly vacuumed out of my pocket by a dancer that I found particularly fascinating. A woman sat next to me, leaned over and said "She's really hot. Hi, I'm a lesbian."
"Me too," I answered, "only I'm trapped in a man's body."
It was a ha-ha-only-serious joke. I am, in fact, a man and happy for it. I am not gay, and I don't secretly desire to be a woman, even a lesbian. However, when I look at what passes for modern "male archetypes", I don't fit any of them very well.
I have always been around women more than men. I was raised in a house of women, with my mother, sister, and me. I've always had more women friends (yes, the platonic kind) than men. I am more comfortable in a room full of women than a room full of men. At parties, I often find myself hanging with the ladies in the kitchen swapping baking -- and other -- secrets. I don't understand women, but I understand men less.
I dislike sports. Cars never interested me. I don't spit, scratch my crotch, drive a big truck, or round up cattle. I don't gamble, fight, or swear constantly. I don't consider my lovers "conquests". I put the toilet seat down. I try to look presentable. As a father, my parenting style is firm, but not particularly "masculine". As a lover, I'm more "sensual" than "rough".
Have I painted the image of a modern, new-age wimp for you? There's the problem. If you get that impression, you'd be very wrong.
I am not one of the modern-day dandies, yuppies, or "metrosexuals". I am strong, egotistical, and driven in that peculiar way men have. When I see something I want, I go get it. I don't allow myself to be used as a doormat (unless it's to my benefit in the long run -- I'm also not stupid.) I can be dominating and intimidating.
I have had women call me a "real man", whatever that is. More than one. And sorry, guys, I trust a woman's word on this over a man's any day. No man has ever said that about me anyhow, but one guy did once warn another "I wouldn't fuck with him if I were you" -- which is nearly the same thing in man-speak, I think. I'm not sure why he said it, though.
So, what am I?
When I look at the stock sexual stereotypes, the one that comes closest to fitting me is that of the man-like lesbian. Not a full-on dyke -- I'm not that macho -- but the tomboy kind. Except in a man's body.
Consider this my coming-out ceremony.
I was sitting at the stage in a strip club happily having my money expertly vacuumed out of my pocket by a dancer that I found particularly fascinating. A woman sat next to me, leaned over and said "She's really hot. Hi, I'm a lesbian."
"Me too," I answered, "only I'm trapped in a man's body."
It was a ha-ha-only-serious joke. I am, in fact, a man and happy for it. I am not gay, and I don't secretly desire to be a woman, even a lesbian. However, when I look at what passes for modern "male archetypes", I don't fit any of them very well.
I have always been around women more than men. I was raised in a house of women, with my mother, sister, and me. I've always had more women friends (yes, the platonic kind) than men. I am more comfortable in a room full of women than a room full of men. At parties, I often find myself hanging with the ladies in the kitchen swapping baking -- and other -- secrets. I don't understand women, but I understand men less.
I dislike sports. Cars never interested me. I don't spit, scratch my crotch, drive a big truck, or round up cattle. I don't gamble, fight, or swear constantly. I don't consider my lovers "conquests". I put the toilet seat down. I try to look presentable. As a father, my parenting style is firm, but not particularly "masculine". As a lover, I'm more "sensual" than "rough".
Have I painted the image of a modern, new-age wimp for you? There's the problem. If you get that impression, you'd be very wrong.
I am not one of the modern-day dandies, yuppies, or "metrosexuals". I am strong, egotistical, and driven in that peculiar way men have. When I see something I want, I go get it. I don't allow myself to be used as a doormat (unless it's to my benefit in the long run -- I'm also not stupid.) I can be dominating and intimidating.
I have had women call me a "real man", whatever that is. More than one. And sorry, guys, I trust a woman's word on this over a man's any day. No man has ever said that about me anyhow, but one guy did once warn another "I wouldn't fuck with him if I were you" -- which is nearly the same thing in man-speak, I think. I'm not sure why he said it, though.
So, what am I?
When I look at the stock sexual stereotypes, the one that comes closest to fitting me is that of the man-like lesbian. Not a full-on dyke -- I'm not that macho -- but the tomboy kind. Except in a man's body.
Consider this my coming-out ceremony.
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